


The Connection

by askscienceboyfriends



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Depressing Thoughts, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Prompt Fill, Science Boyfriends, emotional issues, glimpsing into someone else's brain, scary imagery, science contraption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:20:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1965255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askscienceboyfriends/pseuds/askscienceboyfriends
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt: "Tony and Bruce build a machine that can take one person’s emotions, and feel what they’re like for 5 min. Tony wants to know how Bruce feels and when he does, he can’t believe how Bruce stays calm or even smiles at all."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Connection

Tony finished turning the last screw into place on the helmet he was holding.  For a prototype, it looked pretty impressive.  Then again, he was Tony Stark.  Bruce looked on, holding the second helmet and repeatedly playing words of doubt and nervousness through his brain.

“Whad’ya think?”  Tony held his helmet up to Bruce, smiling because he already knew it was impressive.

“It’s great, Tony.  You know it is.”

“Then why do you sound anything but excited for me?”

“You know why.”  Bruce looked down at the one in his hands.  He was not a fan of this idea.  Not at all.  He knew why Tony had taken up this project.  Besides the fact that Tony couldn’t resist a tech development challenge, it would probably help a lot of people.  It could be used for lots of good purposes; hospitals, many different branches of therapy, not to mention research into mental problems and aids for people with vocal problems.  But it was still basically a computer digging into a human brain.  And Bruce wasn’t sure that was ever going to be a good idea.  There were too many ways it could go wrong, and too many people who would want to take Tony’s altruistic version and turn it into something that would do the opposite of helping people.

“Hey, don’t be like that.  This is a good thing.  Plus, it’s me working on it.  You know I’m not gonna let it go anywhere until I’m positive it’s not harmful.”  Tony walked over to Bruce and squeezed his shoulder.

“It’s not you I’m worried about.”  He looked up at the other man with what Tony called his “worried doctor” look.  It was how he looked when an experiment looked like it might fail.  Or when Tony was trying something insane that should be stopped… if only someone knew how to stop Tony Stark.

“Let’s try it, you can see what it feels like to have your mind zapped, and then you’ll agree with me about how safe it is.”

“Oh, yes, I think I’m the perfect choice for mind control guinea pig.”

“It’s not gonna do anything to you, I’ll just get a glimpse of your emotions.”

“Not just a glimpse, Tony.  I know how this works.  You’re going to feel all my emotions.  That’s not quite as harmless.”

“You know this is just one version, right?  They’re not all going to involve a transfer of emotion.  Just thought I’d knock the big one off the list first.”

“Not a good idea, Tony.”  He gave Tony a serious look, trying to convince him with his eyes that this was going to backfire somehow.

“Just put it on for me.  Just for a minute.”  Tony set his helmet down on a work table and took Bruce’s from him.  He gently set it on Bruce’s head, adjusting it and connecting the straps under the doctor’s chin.  Bruce put his hands up to feel the helmet but didn’t try to remove it.  He  _was_  extremely curious about the helmets.  His nature was to investigate, research, see how things worked.  He did want to try it out, but…

“All right, Tony.  I’ll let you run this on me for  _one_  minute.  One. You’re gonna have your robots standing there to time it, and if something happens, I’m pulling it off and we’re done playing with this for the day.  And no straps.”  He reached up to unhook the straps from under his chin, letting them hang from the helmet.

Tony’s eyes lit up and he nodded enthusiastically.  He wheeled a chair over to Bruce and found one for himself, and once they were both seated he slipped his own helmet on.  He turned to the computer and started typing away.  “I’ve got it set to shut off in 60 seconds.  Trust me, this will be better than getting any robots involved.  Just sit back, clear your mind, and relax.”

“Yeah, hardly gonna happen.  Let’s just do this.”  Tony nodded and pushed the last button.  He leaned back and waited.

On Bruce’s end nothing really happened.  He sat there with his eyes closed.  There were no noises, nothing seemed to be moving; in fact he almost thought it wasn’t working at all.

Not the case on Tony’s end.  As soon as he switched it on, it was like his own mind went blank.  For the next minute, he didn’t see any images, just random patterns of color that he later imaged was just his own brain responding to what he was feeling.  And everything else was emotions.  Raw, screaming emotions coming from Bruce.  If he had seen Bruce sitting there calmly with his eyes closed, he’d have hardly believed these feelings were coming from him.  But they were.  Tony squeezed his eyes tighter.

_Fear.  Fear coming through in waves.  Sometimes incredible, other times just a slight pulse.  Fear of people, fear of running, fear of familiarity.  Guilt.  Oh, God, the guilt; like a heavy weight that won’t be set down, and won’t dissolve with time.  A lack of love.  A love straining so hard it felt like wounds exploding through stitches.  Wanting love.  A love like a light being turned on, followed by soothing stillness.  The fear again.  Depression.  Sadness you can’t breathe through.  Emotional gasping; an uncontrollable shaking within the brain.  Hopelessness.  Helplessness.  Desperation.  Need.  A stronger version of the fear.  Pain.  A mental representation of constant physical pain.  A mental pain that was only mental.  An acceptance of the pain.  A dulling of the pain, pushing it under all the fear.  The fear again.  And underneath all of this, a throbbing, pressurized, constant anger, just waiting to detonate._

The computer beeped, and Tony’s eyes shot open.  Bruce was looking at him with an intense concern.

“You okay?  You’re… you’re sweating, Tony.  What the hell happened to you?”  Bruce pulled his helmet off and set it down, standing to move towards Tony.

Tony flung the helmet off and lunged forward into Bruce’s arms.  He squeezed the doctor as hard as he could and breathed into his shoulder.  “How can you…”  He couldn’t finish.

Bruce pulled Tony back into him and held him tightly.  He hadn’t expected this reaction… but like he expected, it wasn’t good.  “I guess it worked then.”

Tony nodded against him but didn’t even attempt to let him go.  “It was so… you feel that?  All the time?”

“Yes… well, everything comes and goes, but it’s kinda like a blender full of feelings up there.  Besides the anger; that’s a constant.  I’m… sorry about the mess.”  He looked away, shamefully.  “ There’s just no good way to clean it up.  Not that I get a lot of visitors in there…  I knew this was a bad idea.”

“No,” Tony said adamantly.  He pulled his head back enough to look in Bruce’s eyes.  “It was not a bad idea.  I needed to know that.  You never talk about…  I’m so sorry, Bruce, I wish I could…”

Bruce shook his head.  “Nobody can fix that.  The damage was done long ago, before the gamma accident.”

“How are you so calm about all of this?  How can you feel all that, all the time, and even get out of bed in the morning?”

“It… wasn’t always so easy.  I’ve been working to control it for most of my life.  There were times…”  He paused.  He didn’t need to say it; they both knew.  “But I’ve been getting better, constantly, for a long time now.  And you’ve helped me with that.  Did you feel any… love in there?”

Tony nodded.  “A few times.  Some of it hurt though.  Some felt like they were unanswered.  It was painful, not like love should feel.”

Bruce gave him a half smile, indicating he knew exactly what Tony meant.  “Is that all?”

Tony thought for a second, replaying the emotions.  “No, there was a moment… like a light shining, made me feel calm…”

“Yeah, a guiding light.  That’s you, Tony.”

Tony looked into Bruce’s eyes and felt his own heart softening.  He kissed Bruce then, unable to do anything else.  Bruce moved one hand from Tony’s back to his hair, stroking him as they slowly pressed their lips together.

“Thank you, for letting me feel that.  I didn’t realize just how personal it would be.  Don’t know what I was thinking…  Needs a lot more work…”

“Are you trying to tell me I was right?”

“Yeah, I guess I am.  Don’t get used to it; this is only the third time I’ve ever been wrong.”

Bruce smiled and settled his forehead against Tony’s.  “I guess I should feel honored, in that case.”

“That’s how I feel, every moment I’m with you.”

This time it was Bruce who was unable to do anything but kiss the man in front of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Written a prompt fill for our blog ask-science-boyfriends.tumblr.com


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